I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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