cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
