yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
