How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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