i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
sex in a hospital.. check
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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