she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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