he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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