currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We left the knife in your bed.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
