That's when you crack a 10am beer
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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