Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
