My brain says no but my pants say off.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
