Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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