I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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