bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
