she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
