Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
