I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
