i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
