I hope mine doesn't look like that
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
