so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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