i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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