Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
sick fucks of a feather flock together
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
