Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
