Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize