I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
