Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
