I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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