Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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