I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
