His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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