Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
