At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
