I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
