Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
