im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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