I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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