do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
