Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
