Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
