I'm jealous of your bromance
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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