I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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