If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize