PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
