i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
