I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
