I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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