My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
