also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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