This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Randomize
