porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize