Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
