she takes plan B like it's going out of style
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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