I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
