you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
