do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
