Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
