I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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